Gurney Drive Singapore = Fantastic NOT

Dear Readers,

Finally, I got a comment on my blog after so long, and I must say that it was a long time waiting, or should I say "I wait for comments long long" in my "IT" English.

Anyhow, enough of the fame and limelight, however I noticed something as I was going through my previous blog entries, it seems that my blog is unique in a way that I going around eating and slamming all those overrated food like no other, maybe my life is too precious and hence I am on a life mission to try to piss off as much people as I can in the shortest time possible.

So should I really give a damn about it? I CARE NOT !

For like the LTA which give me a rude but expected shock the other day when I was driving to town via the CTE expressway coming down from North, and one of the two ERP gantries read $4.

Firstly, I cannot never understand and this has puzzled for many years now, (FYI, I am very YOUNG, okay) why there are 2 gantries within the span of 500 meters apart from each other or was it because someone made a mistake on the first location and decided that it might as well have 2 gantries since the mistakes were already made.

Secondly, why there are 2 different prices, is this used to confuse people and hope that all drivers can't do maths and given that the impression that it is cheaper than it is ?

Thirdly, especially on CTE expressway when you are heading from town up to North in the evening, why is the gantry still switch on from 5:30pm to 10:30pm, is the Government telling us not to go home but to go out to get drunk or find a mistress in other locations & live happily ever after, as long as you don't live in the North.

Finally, isn't our road taxes supposedly to do south when we have more ERP gantries in operations however my road taxes didn't seems to have decrease by the same amount or significantly enough for me to notice at all.

This is my moment, Bitches !

That's the moment when I have had an "Eureka Moment" and recalled that the Government and not LTA has collected more than $400 million in Electronic Road Pricing (ERP) as mentioned above charges from drivers over the last three years.

I MEAN the Certificate Of Entitlement (COE) must already have been an ingenious idea which the Government stated that it was used to control the amount of cars on the road, but it is literally like switching on your printer as and when one required to exchange paper for actual $$$, which I am sure that team of assholes scholar(s) that came out with the idea, must have been given recognition, promotions to M level and gods who knows what else.

But with the ERP system, it was like owning a cash cow or golden goose that will never refuse to produce good $$$, given that public buses can failed, MRT will definitely failed as you must have realized again in the past few days, taxi companies can increase their fares as and when their top management deem appropriate.

But the ERP systems will never failed, never... ever..., so the big question now is where does the $$$ goes to and why does it not failed due to wear and tear like the MRT? If anyone has the direct dial to Mr. Minister of Transportation, please kindly message me his name and number, since the current one "MAY" be hang for his nonperformance. 

Anyhow, the ERP system is a very similar experience to one that I have had at Gurney Drive situated at Ang Mo Koi Jubilee Entertainment Complex, and PLEASE don't mistaken me for someone who is overcritical and overbearing, but I have been to this restaurant not once but two tries just to confirm and double confirm like Hossan Leong would said, since the name of this restaurant is obviously taken off from the famous street in Penang, Malaysia.

Too many people often abused the name shamelessly

Look at the photo to your right, doesn't this look like a World Class Prawn Noodle. As if, the prawns are talking to you, the meats are waving at you and the soups are dancing for you ?

So on my first visit, I did order this Signature Dish and boy was I disappointed but its seems to use disappoint seems to a tab of an understatement, as you see the soup was not prawn-ly enough and no richness to it at all, next the prawns were definitely not fresh enough as the shell ACTUALLY stick onto the fresh like a stubborn "POST IT"and the meat was like a piece of something with no freshness nor taste to it, and tasted like something or nothing.

Therefore, since this is Gurney Drive and I do sincerely wanted my first visit to be MY FAULT, thus we decided to return for a second try, how did it go ?

It was Fantastic, simply Fantastic... [continue below]



For it was Fantastically WRONG... or more than WRONG, it was bad and of the worst kind, and the fault can't be on my side as we did ordered something different this time round.

For anyone who has been to Penang, you will know that beside, prawn noddles, Penang and especially Gurney Drive is also infamously known for their Cha Keow Teow.

The plate is so "clean" that it even has water droplet on it

It is a familiar look, and do somewhat look like the real deal but as you have guessed it, it is a plate of something that taste like nothing.

I mean, the cook probably just throw in some noodles, some dark sauces, some fish cakes, some vegetables and some more things to make it look like this but it can't be more disintegrated than most companies are, everything was as individual as one can be even without having to try.

Mommy look, my prawn at the far end has a black head like no other

Look, Taste and Pray!

"LOOK" at how the prawn has a black colored head, "TASTE" out of the world just in the wrong way, and "PRAY" that I will never have to eat at this place again.

I mean, the only thing that looks good in the above must be the chilli sauce and you are CORRECT.

By the way, this is not curry chicken noodle but Laksa 'Penang Style', just that it look so different from the menu and the real deal thus I did need to double confirm with the servers, just to be sure.

FYI, nothing tasted right, I meant the watery part was just added with some coloring, throw in some coconut milk, some oil, and BANG!!! you have make water look like soup.

As mentioned in my first visit, the prawns were not alive or fresh and surprise surprise, it is still not fresh or alive on my second visit. However, I also managed to find the long awaited "Q"uestion to why the chicken cross the road ? Answer, it didn't cross the road because it died laughing at cooks who can't cook but still manage to open a restaurant of any sort, and yes, the chicken at Gurney tasted like something and nothing like before, very similar to the one that I had on the first visit except that, I think I have PORK and this is CHICKEN. Go Figure !!!

I am going to do something that I have not done before, which is to critic the servers as well, you see we have also order appetizers right from the start, and it came only after we have finish our main course, read a 100 page novel, went for a movie, came back from fishing and it was still not THERE !!!

Okay, I must admit that we didn't manage to do all the above, but we did waited for a good 20 to 30 minutes AFTER we finished our main dishes before it came, but the main point is that we did a check with the servers if it is coming and they always promised that it is coming in a few minutes, but ALWAYS failed to deliver and finally, when we asked to cancel the dish, they REFUSE and insisted that it is coming...

So I decided to change into my red underwear and become "SUPERMAN" however I must admit, CATWOMAN did also cross my mind too.

The objective is simple, it was so that I have the power to tear his/her head off and send the cook to a cooking class, but in the nick of time, the dish came and did I enjoy it ?

Make a Guess !

  

Verdict Out of Five (5*):

1. Quality of Food: -1 (Your eyes are not playing tricks, it is my first negative score)
2. Ambiances: 2 (Looks promising from the outside and that is about all)
3. Audiences: 3 (Local who looks for good Penang food but will be blown away)
4. Price: 1 (They should pay me for eating their something at all)
5. Services: 1 (What services? I didn't get any)
6. Hygiene: 1 (My plate was wet and I am sure that is not the only thing that is wet)

So my overall conclusion is 0*, and by now I am lost for words, but one thing is for sure, I will not return unless they start having bikini gals dancing with pole while I dine in pain.