Ah Kow Mushroom Minced Pork Mee = Shoot "ME" now

This past weekend has been one of my most fruitful weekend for a long time coming.

"Read this post to the tune of LMFAO - Sexy & I Know It". 

As you see let's see I did not managed to run or cycle or swim or any form of exercise at all, but I am HAPPY, for what I did, must have been equally or if not more tiring, which was to eat, drink, eat some more and eat myself silly in front of my black box.

For it was like a eating x2 maybe x3 marathons which at the end of it I felt so bloated and lazy that I "almost" gave up leaving the house ever again, as I suspect that "HE" or someone up above, didn't want me to do anything that will make me slimmer or remotely made more handsome than I already am, to compete for the sexy man alive. Or else they may have to change the definition of FAT, SHORT & HAMsome in all the dictionaries therefore "HE" was left with no options but to piss rain for most part of the weekend.

Beside, there is my lovely missy who last night gave me a lecture that I drink way too much, but she still love me, if not love me more than before, however from today onwards, I am not allowed to drink anything more than a jug of anything anymore, so I reckon I probably have to drink it by the mugs instead from here onwards, since she didn't really put a restriction on the number of 'n' mugs I can consume : P, see how powerful English languages can be. 

"THANK YOU GOD, YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU AND I KNOW YOU LOVE ME TOO."

OKAY, YOU stop the music NOW.

On a separate note, I would like to take this opportunity to thank all my readers for their useless honest comments, who commented that my blog is too long-winded and having poor grammars, as you see it was my very cruel intention all along, for I am an aspiring Young old writer that one day hope to publish my own book that would not only shock the world but created a new evolution to the way, the world look or knows grammars as it is, and hopefully regards it as the new world standard aka "IT" Grammars.

My argument is that if one American writer by the name of Dr. Scott D. Mendelson, M.D., PhD can come to Singapore for a week or two, and go back to write a book titled "The Great Singapore Penis Panic" (See book cover below) and be voted to have one of the oddest book title for Year 2012, therefore it should be easier for a homegrown, born and breed boy man with no PhD, to probably write something that will definitely change Singapore or even the World.

Tentatively, I am titling the book "THE GREAT PENIS VS. THE GREAT SINGAPORE SALES" but we will see if I do get any sponsorships and publishers whom are willing to listen to my great novel. P.S. Genius "Penis" in work, do not disturb.

What Panic, I still have one that's look like one

So on one fateful day, this hamsome boy visited one of his favorite hawker fare, at Hong Lim Market & Food Centre situated at 531A Upper Cross Street just in the heart of Singapore China Town.

I have always wanted to give this stall know as Ah Kow Mushroom Minced Pork Mee a try since many famous foodies have jointly voted it as one of the best bak chor mee in Year 2011 or 2012, which I cannot recalled for sure, or I personally can't be bother enough, given that I feel that review needs to be brutally honest and true, else it will be another piece of useless information, like the time the Government tell us that they will learn to listen, which they do otherwise and listen only to themselves instead.

Every Singaporeans reckon it must be good, if there is a queue... NOT

For example, inSing.com.sg voted them as one of the best Bak Chor Mee in Year 2011 or Year 2012 and stated that this famous Bak Chor Mee stallserves noodles are tossed with special black vinegar and topped with stewed shitake mushrooms, deep fried lard, fresh pork slices and dumplings." & on ieatishootipost.sg, they rated it at 4.5 out of 5 in Year 2007 and this stall was even voted as a Makansutra Legend, so naturally, being a typical Singaporean I must give in and credits to the excellent reviews by renowned foodies, so like a true Singaporean would say "Die Die also must try... RIGHT?"

There must be something that I am missing

WRONG!!!!@_#*!@)@#!@)_!*#*_E1-+$!)!_@!@e-!231@#@e!!_(&$()_

For this turn out to be one of my biggest mistake in life, when it comes to food at least and I have been trying to forget this incident since then, but on second thoughts and giving the stall the benefit of the doubt, they were probably great in their hey days like in the 70s when policemen were wearing shorts and I was still in my mother's womb, but by today standard, it is totally overrated through the roof.

To ME, the "hamsome" me, this stall has passed its time and living solely based on its reputation, and nothing else, but one thing that still puzzles me is why oh why people still bothers to queue up at this stall even today, I mean seriously, haven't these people tasted better Bak Chor Mee before which I somewhat suspect got be the case here and therefore, I FEEL their pain.

See the picture below, I must said that I was exciting like a kid in a candy store when I first got my hands on the bowl of noodles naturally since I have to queue quite a bit for it, and the presentation of the noodles look yummy enough which I was soon proven otherwise.

Before Picture

Firstly, we must have only left it for 2-3 minutes at most before we dive in for our first bite and it was ALREADY DEAD, so we try a 2nd bite to reconfirm, and I must said that no hot sexy slutty nurses/doctors in the world will be able to relieve it back to life, so naturally, our face shrink like SpongeBod SquarePants.

We tried our best to find good things to say about this dish, so we went on to try the mushroom and minced meat, but it was too late, the so called "Special BLACK Vinegar" has taken over our tongue and we tasted nothing else since then on, and they stayed on for a good few hours before our hostage tongues were released based on good behavior.

After Picture

Trust me, we tried our best to finish... but we couldn't and given that over most weekends, we would also like to have our main dishes with some sides, this was an extraordinary event given that on this fateful day, we didn't order any side dishes at all but yet couldn't finish.

Verdict Out of Five (5*):

1. Quality of Food: 1 (It could have been worst, mind you)
2. Ambiances: 3 (On of my favorite hawker fare on a Saturday Morning, so it can't be too wrong)
3. Audiences: 3 (Mostly locals but maybe soon to be taken over by FTs)
4. Price: 1 (Cost slightly more than your average Bak Chor Mee)
5. Services: 2 (Self-Services, so go figure)
6. Hygiene: 3 (Can't see inside of the stall, so what you don't see, won't kill you)

So my overall conclusion is 1*, and you can try this at your own risk which I won't be held responsible at any cost, and just maybe they are not be as bad as I described above, or perhaps the cook was just having a lousy day and didn't get any sugar from his wife the night before, but does it deserved to be a Legend, in my view... the chance are as good as me being the next Prime Minister of any country. Go Figure, Singapore !